Shazreh’s Gaye Holud

Colorful people

A bride’s gaye holud is part bachelorette party, part bridal shower.  Family members and friends from both sides are invited.  In Shaz’ case, about 700 people were invited to her holud on December 25.  

The day started at Salehuddin and Nahar’s flat.  The women dressed together in the bedrooms, where Nahar wrapped Sophie, Elizabeth and me into our saris.  We put on our bangles (bracelets), and a bindi was placed between our eyebrows.  Mine is quite jeweled, and I love it!  All of Shaz’ family is dressed in shades of mustard yellow, red or orange.   We are colorful people!

The beautiful venue

We ride out together on a small bus to the venue, a beautiful setting along a small lake.  The holud has a carnival or county fair atmosphere – with a small, colorfully painted ferris-wheel (considered very traditional at a holud), fresh coconuts being tapped right there for juice, food stands supplying cotton candy and other favorite snacks, a small band of roving musicians, and ... a henna station!

Irina, Ryan, and Imaani at the festivities!

Eating snacks

We three – Beth, Sophie and I - are the first in line to get henna applied.   Intricate designs are drawn on our wrists, hands and fingers, using wet, raised (almost bubbly) black ink.  We rapidly find out that you can’t touch anything, or it smears.  For the most part, our drawings are still intact when - after about an hour - the black ink dries up and flakes off, leaving behind red henna designs.  Folklore says that the redder the henna is, the more your mother-in-law likes you.  (Mine should have been crimson red!)

The henna artists

We greet members of Rajib’s family as they arrive.  Jim and I already know Alvee, a cousin of his, who attends St. John’s.  We are honored to meet Alvee’s entire family.  And, we meet Rajib’s father, mother, and siblings. 

After all the guests have arrived, our attention is drawn to the lake.  Shazreh is coming, gliding in on a white boat with a large swan head.  The musicians double the sound of their music, and she walks up the steps to applause. 

With her arrival, all the guests are seated at tables and the meal is served.  While we eat, we are entertained with dancing by family and friends of Shazreh.  Watching them, we get more nervous, as we know that we will be dancing soon (and we hate to follow these great dancers).  Finally, it is our turn.  We dance in front of these hundreds of people – to rave reviews!

A gift from our hearts

(If you would like to see our dance sensation, Jim has posted it to YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u62z_PLhmPg&feature=youtu.be) Afterward, many people approach us to compliment us on our dance.  We’re sure they appreciated our efforts, if not our skills!  They recognized that it was a gift from our hearts, and we received "many thanks" back.  As one example, two different families ask us to come to their homes for meals while we are in Dhaka.  What an honor to be asked!

Bride's surprise dance

But, the star dancer of the day is Shazreh.  It is not customary for the bride to dance at her own gaye holud, but Shazreh is no ordinary bride.  During the final dance, she suddenly gets up from her table and joins the fun.  Beaming with a mischievous smile, she is the clearly the best dancer of the day.

Mark gets turmeric

After the meal, Shaz is seated on a dais up front, and family members and guests come up to wish her well and apply turmeric paste.  The turmeric is on a large tray, and a small amount is applied by the guest to Shaz’s forehead or hands. Sometimes, in a sign of allegiance – the guest applies some turmeric to her own face - or of a loved one's!  

All of us with the bride and groom.
A wonderful time was had by all.