Wedding Preparations

I should mention how we know Shazreh, the bride.  We met Shaz in 2008 in China!  If this sounds familiar, it is.  It is the same story as to how we met Kunduz whose wedding in Kyrgyzstan we attended in August. (See jckyrgyzmoscow.blogspot.com)   

We met Shaz when she came running out the first night we arrived.  “Americans!”  She said, “Finally - Someone I can talk to!”  Shaz was 17, in China alone enrolled in a Chinese language immersion program, and terribly homesick for Bangladesh.  She had spent one year of high school in the states so we represented something familiar to her.  Shaz rapidly became friends with our students and us.  Throughout that semester, Jim tried to convince both Kunduz and Shaz to apply to St. Ben’s – which Shazreh did.  While attending her four years there, Shaz would come to our house for school holidays, such as Thanksgiving.  We grew very close.  Shaz is now a CPA, and works for Price Waterhouse in Texas. 

The other person to introduce is the groom – Rajib.  Shaz met him the first week she was in Minnesota.  (Who knew there was an active Bangla contingent alive and well in St. Cloud/the Cities?)  On their first date, they went to a movie – Love Happens.    When hearing about this, her friends in Dhaka quickly lengthened the name: “Love happens … in Minnesota.”

The days leading up to their wedding sped by …

            …Pursuing the perfect pagri.  One whole afternoon was spent on Elephant Road in Dhaka in order to find the perfect wedding turban, called a pagri, for Rajib to wear on the wedding day.  Elephant Road is known for its rows of pet stores ... and wedding shops!   Many of them offered turbans for sale.  At first glance, they looked the same, but after several hours the complexity of the task grew:  Did you want a fan on top or not?  A gemstone?  Should the turban’s sides be flat or puffed?  How many colors should it have: one, two, or more?   After much consideration and consultation, the purchase is complete.  (Maybe the live model helped.)  Success!

            …Wrapping the dalas.   Traditionally in Bangladesh, the families of both the bride and groom prepare gifts for their new daughter- or son-in-law, and their family members.   The new bride or groom is to be given everything as if they were starting afresh – from socks to shaving cream, suits to shoes, shirts to new punjabis.

When we were still in the States, Shaz asked if I could help wrap some presents.  “Sure,” I said, thinking that I could handle that.   But, this was no ordinary wrapping.  Called dalas, these presents are given publicly, and the presentation is very important.  Boxes of gold, silver, or deep purple act as the base.  Then, you arrange the gifts just so, before adorning them with flowers, bubbles, ribbons and bows – and covering them with cellophane.   I must say we did a pretty good job.   What do you think?

            …Going to the tailor.  During these few days, I also went to get measured for my blouse and petticoat.  This is no ordinary blouse, but the blouse to wear under my sari to the wedding. It needs to be fitted to the shape of your upper torso and upper arms just right; most end right below the bra line, but I wanted mine a bit longer. This is my first time interacting with a personal tailor, discussing sleeve length and scoop or square necklines, all without a word of common language passing between us.  

            …Welcoming reinforcements.  Shaz also “mentioned” to Jim and me that we would be joining in the family dances at the wedding.  What she neglected to say was that she was hoping we would do a dance by ourselves at the large celebration.  One evening, she and Irina tried to teach Jim and me a dance to a well-known folksong.  The only way I could remember the moves was to give them names.  On my cheat sheet was written, “wings, stop sign, window washer, scoops, pointing at the crowd, the thinker, baby cradle, window washer.”  Luckily for Shaz, reinforcements – in the form of better dancers - appeared.   Family members of ours arrived: Mark, Elizabeth, and Leon, and we all met two CSB/SJU college friends of Shaz - Sophie and John from Minnesota.  Talk about delightful!  They became our instant friends.  So, the six of us became the dancers. (Leon wasn’t feeling well.)  Now, the only thing that shook our confidence was that every time we tried to sneak in a rehearsal at Shaz’ parents, anyone within eyesight started giggling! 

But, I shouldn’t talk so much about what we were doing leading up to the wedding.  The overall STAR of the wedding preparations was Nahar, Shaz’ Mom.  She had planned so much --- taking care of not only several main events but all the details.  She had purchased matching punjabis for the men in Shaz’ family (including John, Jim, Mark, and Leon), found saris for us women, bought all the presents and wrapping supplies for the dalas, lined up flowers and microphones ---- AND planned all the meals for us to eat every day at her home.   If Nahar hadn’t just received her doctorate in human resource management, I would be first in line to promote her future career as a wedding planner!